I hope that someday my practice will help me avoid speaking in anger more often. Until then, I take refuge in Thay’s teaching of Beginning Anew, the practice for repairing damage to a relationship. I needed to do that recently. While I still regret being unskillful to begin with, I am glad that the practice gave me the courage and confidence to make amends in an authentic, compassionate way. It took me over a week of daily contemplation, but I was finally able to write letters of sincere apology and deeper explanation for my frustration. I did not follow the precise script that Thay gives us for using within the Sangha, but the spirit of sharing, “Darling, I am suffering” was there. I was relieved when my letters were received with generosity. More than anything, it is profoundly reassuring to recover from mistakes like that, since we all will make them no matter how diligent we try to be. What fresh start would you like to make in a relationship? What do you need to Begin Anew?
This Dharma Thought is offered by Steve Allison-Bunnell with the Joining Rivers Sangha in the Plum Village Tradition.